An Exercise In Futility

The meeting of Lebanese parties in Paris feels like a burden..

Talk Shop

Once upon a time, a newly elected hyper-active French President had a dream: If I can bring all the Lebanese parties to Paris, push and pull them around for a few days, I could resolve what appears to be an easy crisis and pocket a diplomatic victory in the Middle East. That should mark a good Middle Eastern start for my presidential career.

And so invitations were sent to Lebanese parties who immediately accept the French munificence. After all, c’est Paris! 

But then, everyone belatedly realizes that there is nothing to be achieved in Paris. MP Eido Gets killed, Sarkozy discovers the harsh realities on Lebanese grounds and Condolleeza Rice whispers in his ears: “The March 8 people are not the masters of their own destiny.”

It was too late to un-invite the Lebanese. This is why day after day, a new creative way is found to tell everyone: “The meeting is not important”, and less and less important people are going to go. 

Think of it, really. If the leaders themselves couldn’t agree, how could the underlings? Think of all the time going to be wasted in media speculations over plastic smiles by croissant-holding MPs and fake hugs with an Eifel Tower backdrop.

If only protocol allowed canceling invitations. If only there’s a diplomatic way of saying: “you know guys, I think I’m going to need that conference hall after all. I guess we’ll have to cancel that invitation. But don’t worry, we’ll call you”