To All Jihadis in Lebanon

— signing up for “jihad” in Syria —

Please, please, please, go die in Syria.

Let us once and for all get rid of your idiotic backwardness and medieval worldview. The sooner you die, the better. It’s a win win situation: You get your virgins in the sky, and we get to live without people who are fighting a pointless religious war that is thousands of years old.

Please prove to us that there is a God, a merciful god that cares for the rest of us who find your antics distateful and your moralizing obnoxious.

Go ahead and show us the genius of natural selection that separates the fit from the clueless; the clueless who fight in wars that are not theirs, who win for their masters and die for themselves and their families.

Kill Hezbollah and let them kill you. Two birds one stone. Fikhar yikasser ba3dou